Last week I spent 2 1/2 hours in the dentist’s chair. What I learned was shocking. There’s the mother Grizzly Bear, the Great White Shark, and Katy, my dental hygenist. All three are vicious and blood thirsty. One of these I have to face again in 6 months…I’m weighing my chances with the bear.
I recently picked up a hot drink at a coffee shop in our area and they have taken the coffee cup sleeve that protects your hand from getting burned and made it into the whole cup! Brilliant!! When I saw it, I laughed because it reminded me of the Jerry Seinfeld observation, “What’s the deal with a plane’s “black box?” If the black box is the only thing that survives a crash, why not build the whole plane out of black box?” Epic.
So you may remember back in early Spring, I got all excited about these colorful carrots we were going to harvest. Atleast the picture on the seed packet showed them like this…. OK, maaaybe, I traded my car for a packet of seeds called “Professor Copperfield’s Miracle Legumes” from a guy on Craigslist. Here’s all I got :
The Andy Griffith Show was one of my all time favorite shows and I drew this sketch of the courthouse in Mayberry when Andy Griffith passed away a couple years ago. Well, I actually wasn’t in Mayberry, because it doesn’t exist. But this is the courthouse on the show. Yes, the same courthouse where Goober took a car completely apart and put it together inside the courthouse while Floyd the Barber called it a thing of beauty…classic.
Thank you all for reading and checking out my doodles these past two years! I appreciate all your comments and kind words, I wouldn’t share these sketches if it weren’t for all of you. My goal is to draw for fun and maybe make someone chuckle alittle thru their nose sometimes. I don’t know how long I will do this, but for now, I would buy you all a Coke and love to hear your stories! Real life is always way better than anything Hollywood can make up. Thank you again for your support these past 2 years! –Brad
PS: One time I ordered a Coke and our server replied, “Is Pepsi Ok?”…to which I replied, “If I tip you with monopoly money, would that be Ok?” She thought that was funny.
One of my hobbies is to people watch when I’m at an airport. This is better than the zoo! Here, I sit, and they walk past me. I never sit at my assigned gate either. Like a sniper, I sit back at a distance. Watching. Waiting. On my recent trip, I noticed people generally exit the aircraft and find a bathroom. I’m usually in this group, too. The other thing people do is look for an outlet to recharge their devices. You can see them coming, walking toward a “Power Port” with so much hope on their faces only to be denied by a cluster of other devices…These are almost always full with a waiting line. The devices reminded me of those little green martians on Toy Story that were mesmerized by “The Claaaaw”. The devices would gather around the power ports, gazing up at “the source of life” in awe and bewilderment, no doubt waiting to go on facebook to reveal some earth shattering news like, “just landed” or “just went to the bathroom”…I’m not in this group as I am not on facebook nor do I want to be. As I was people watching, I saw something rare and exotic. Two people actually talking in conversation face to face without checking their phones every 17 seconds. Fascinating.
I am officially nominating Ron Swanson as head of the Food and Drug Administration. Let me explain. These advertisements you see for different drugs always make me chuckle a little thru my nose when they begin telling us of the side effects this drug might cause if you take it. Personally, I think I’d rather deal with depression than have blurred or loss of vision and/or hearing, diarrhea, dizziness, heart attack or stroke, and in rare cases death, confusion (don’t need a drug for that), convulsions, fast talking, vomiting, fidgeting, shuffling walk, severe mood or mental changes, etc,…etc,…but hey these are “smart- educated” folks and we are gullible.
I believe if Ron Swanson were in charge, the drugs would not only band-aid the problem but the side effects would be positive. Something you’d WANT to have as a side effect like: “Daily use of this drug may cause…”:
unusually good hip hop dance abilities, (call your doctor if this last longer than 4 hours…)
able to remember casual acquaintances’ children’s birthdays and their body weight when they were born, (males only)
the ability to grow a Tom Selleck ‘stache, (males only)
increased hearing, like better than dogs,
a supernatural ability to understand women completely, (males only)
to communicate with animals, (especially fish and other useful game), or using this drug may cause:
user to fully understand British humor and Canadian politeness,
increased vision, (as in telescopic)
custom scented bowel movements,
never lock your keys in your car,
a cure for the summer time blues, (Alan Jackson only)
may cause an increased desire to attend amateur poetry jam sessions,
a severe love for sit-ups and lunges, and
the ability to cook minute rice in 57 seconds,
a sudden understanding that Kimmie and Kanye are not the smartest people to pattern your life after.
Those are just a few positive side effects I believe Ron Swanson would implement. And a few involving bacon…
So we had this wood chipper sitting around and didn’t know if it even worked, but something like a wood chipper is always worth trying to start. I tried all the tricks to get it started, some good ideas, some I’m thinking, “I shouldn’t be doing this”…Just as I’m ready to call it quits it started and with it, a whole new world was opened. I don’t know what happened but all kinds of thoughts flooded my mind like, “What would happen if I put this or that in?” After experimenting with sticks and “other stuff” I was having fun. Unfortunately, my day was cut short when I tried putting in a pumpkin….it worked, but I spent the next hour or so cleaning out the chipper of pumpkin mush. A fun toy, and I was excited to mark off item #63 on my bucket list: PLAY WITH A WOOD CHIPPER